Oh, you're awake now? Sweet, sweet breakfast time! But, wait, you're not doing it fast enough. Perhaps if I follow your every step, that will make you go faster.
OH, BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST! How I love breakfast....
And, now, I shall roll upon the ground and be cute.
And, now, I shall take a seven-hour nap.
And, now, it is time for you to pay attention to me. Oh, you're working? Well, surely you can type, write, stand up, sit down, and do everything else you need to do WHILE HOLDING AND PETTING ME. No? How about if I walk on your keyboard? Will that help? No? FINE! I'll just find something else to entertain myself...like scratching everything in sight...and...oh, PLEASE, oh, PLEASE, oh PLEASE won't you pay attention to me?????
Oh, now you're petting me. That's good. Keep doing it. Ahhhhhhhhhh....
Well, I've had enough of you now.
It's time for me to go outside. You must let me outside. I know I have a way of getting outside without any effort on your part, BUT I WANT YOU TO LET ME OUTSIDE. And, now I shall poop in the garden. And, now I shall roll around in the dirt so I can roll around on the carpet later and get dirt all over the carpet. And, now I shall chase THAT SQUIRREL! WHO DOES IT THINK IT IS?? GETTING IN MY YARD?! THE NERVE!!!!! Oh, it's gone now. I shall now lie in the sun for a three-hour nap.
DINNER!!!!! I MUST HAVE DINNER! Will YOU feed me dinner? Perhaps if I stand and stare at you, it will make you want to FEED ME DINNER! No? Well, how about if I scratch everything in sight? Meow? Meow more pitifully? Run up and down the hallway? No? FINE! I'll just go and...no, wait, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE feed me dinner!!
Oh, you're ready to feed me dinner? Can it be true? Sweet, sweet dinner time! But, wait, you're not doing it fast enough. Perhaps if I follow your every step, that will make you go faster.
OH, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER! How I love dinner....
Well, I've had enough of you now.
It's time for me to go outside. You must let me outside. I know I have a way of getting outside without any effort on your part, BUT I WANT YOU TO LET ME OUTSIDE. And, now I shall poop in the garden. And, now I shall roll around in the dirt so I can roll around on the carpet later and get dirt all over the carpet. And, now I shall chase THAT SQUIRREL! WHO DOES IT THINK IT IS?? GETTING IN MY YARD?! THE NERVE!!!!! Oh, it's gone now. I shall now lie in the sun for a three-hour nap.
DINNER!!!!! I MUST HAVE DINNER! Will YOU feed me dinner? Perhaps if I stand and stare at you, it will make you want to FEED ME DINNER! No? Well, how about if I scratch everything in sight? Meow? Meow more pitifully? Run up and down the hallway? No? FINE! I'll just go and...no, wait, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE feed me dinner!!
Oh, you're ready to feed me dinner? Can it be true? Sweet, sweet dinner time! But, wait, you're not doing it fast enough. Perhaps if I follow your every step, that will make you go faster.
OH, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER! How I love dinner....
1 comment:
My cat is like that too.
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